there's a lot that can be said without saying, let alone much that cannot be said when expressed with a million words. such feelings do not materialize, do not fertilize, do not organize. looking unto yourself you must realize that it is such a pure feeling that traling actions are met with such fierce reactions that burns through the skin, the flesh, the marrows and your soul. you do not name the feeling. I do not dare to name the feeling. gray-ish haze induced by alcohol will not cloud your eyes, you know it. you know it. and yet you shall not dare to ask why, because you know it burns. but you want to say it. you want to. you want to. you wish you could fly, you wish you could. wishing. adoring. such warm feeling, and yet unfulfilling. maybe we -- or maybe just I -- will know when I grow a little older, little wiser. at this point I fail to see. no, I see. but I fail to handle it properly, for I have poisened eyes.